It is that time of the year when some of you may have had your final year reviews with your manager. Sometimes the reviews go well and other times they are not what you expected. You may have worked long and hard all year but this may not have been reflected in your final session with your manager. Your manager sees a different perspective and their truth, their reality, is what determines your final result. If the review went well we leave the office on a high, our self esteem is good and we are capable of taking on the next challenge. If the review does not go so well then sometimes that leaves us deflated and discouraged. Even a small problem becomes artificially bigger and slows our momentum to success. In many cases this is reflected in our feelings and emotions. This is natural however, our self esteem and confidence should not be dictated by a one off occurrence, a single review or one time event.
Life can be tough and there are challenges every day, whether it is a final year review, a task that is not going to plan or a project that is not proceeding well or even relationship problems. These can all affect our self esteem and confidence. In times like these we need to have our emotional shield ready.
Here are some ideas to help you to build your emotional shield so that you are equipped and have the courage, inner strength and fortitude to take on whatever life has to throw at you.
- Office Wall – I know a Generation Y’er who covers her wall with photos of friends, concert and cinema tickets, birthday cards, product brand tags, X-ray scans of her broken arm and many more pieces of her life. Her wall resembles a Pinterest board. If grades are low or relationships are stretched then she will turn to her wall. Only the good things are on the wall and this fills her with confidence and determination. She realizes that a one time event, a poor grade, an upset with a friend does not define her and who she is. Her life is on her wall and that is who she is. She builds emotional strength in this.
- Facebook – Cornell University found similar results, this time using Facebook. They found that Facebook walls can have a positive influence on the self esteem of college students. Jeffrey Hancock says, “Feedback from friends posted publicly on people’s profiles also tend to be overwhelmingly positive, which can further boost self-esteem. Facebook can show a positive reflection of ourselves.” The study demonstrated that spending a few minutes updating your Facebook profile each day, looking at the number of friends you have, the number of ‘Likes’ on your page and reviewing your ‘Posts’ can all boost your morale and build your emotional shield.
- Goal Attainment – I recently listened to one of Michael Hyatt’s podcasts. He quotes Tim Pychyl, when he said, “We experience the strongest positive emotional response when we make progress on our most difficult goals.” I can 100% agree with this. If we actively set goals and in particular stretch goals and start to make incremental steps to achieve them we build confidence. We start to get excited, build momentum and as we grow the problems become smaller. It is not the size of the problem but the size of us compared to the problem that is important.
Your ideas, hopes and dreams, the tasks that you have overcome and goals that you have achieved, these are your reality, this is you. Use the tips above to build your emotional shield. The next time you are feeling low, have had a bad time at work or a relationship challenge then use one of the tips to build your confidence. It may even be useful to look at your Facebook page before your next review with your manager!
Now go and develop your Emotional Shield …
Making Steps and Leaving Footprints…